The Spring time

This week we have had some incredible Spring like weather.  It's hard not to scowl when I see snow in the forecast.  I mean, it's Spring, right?  Oh, right, a couple more weeks and THEN it will be Spring.  Well for today I am looking at it as Spring.

It was 55 degrees and sunny today.  My yard had robins and magpies in it.  The crocuses were popping up and just this past weekend and we planted primroses in my flower boxes.  It felt like Spring!  What does Spring feel like to you?
I
 was in deep thought and contemplation as I drove to pick up my older two from school.  Sunny days can make me do that.  Or maybe it's just that it's a change and change can make people retrospective.

A forsythia tree!

 Back home we would see calves and foals in the spring.  I love seeing the forsythia trees in bloom because it means that Spring is here.  Spring is a time for regeneration, new beginnings and life.  In winter the world seems darker and a little browner.  Ok, let's just say it, dead.  Spring feels like a breath of fresh air.  Maybe it's because I am actually allowing fresh air to blow through my windows instead of having the heated air being pumped through my house.  Or maybe it's because scientifically you can breathe easier due to more green and all of that.  (Nope, not a scientist so don't challenge me on that theory. Please?)  Whatever the reason, Spring makes me happy.  If you were to ask me what my favorite season is, I would tell you Autumn then Summer THEN Spring and finally Winter.  So Spring comes with rain (not my favorite) and let's just face it, Spring is often like a hormonal teenager.  It can't make up it's mind and tries to throw every kind of weather at you.

But back to my retrospection.  I was thinking today that I feel like we have been in a Winter season in our lives for a very long time.  Reminds me of a Laura Ingalls Wilder book The Long Winter.  Ok, not at all how my life is really.  But the long part is that we have been looking for over a year and a half for a job for my sweet hubs.  He was still in school up until Dec. but knowing that it would take a while to find one,we started looking early.  I say "we"  because it really has been a team effort.  I do the internet perusing and send him the jobs, he looks at them to see if he is qualified and then spends the 6 hours it takes to fill out one application.  YES!  Can you believe it!  6 hours to fill out an application!  He has his PhD and is applying for positions that take a PhD which require essay questions as well as the regular stuff.   I have NEVER had to go through this before in my life!  I have gotten every job I have wanted except maybe one and then there was another one waiting for me so really, not a problem.  I may have been a bit naive about the job process in this job market when starting out, but now, with my eyes WIDE open still nothing to see.  I could go on about the various reasons the jobs are scarce and so on but really who wants to hear ALL of that?
Anyway, our long winter has got to be coming to an end.  I am confident that our Spring is coming.  We need that breath of fresh air.  The excitement of the unknown is there.  God has big plans for us.  HUGE, I'm sure of it.
I guess what I am saying is that I am ready for SPRING!  In every way possible!  Looking outside at the reminders that Spring is coming tells me our Spring is coming.  For now, I will enjoy our winter.  Our lives are snug and we know how to do winter.  If you see me around town and I look like I am suffering from cabin fever, please forgive me!  I know Spring is coming and I can not wait!

For now, I try to rest in His promise.  I try to recite it daily.
Jeremiah 29:11
"For I know the plans I have for you", declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you, and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future."

Amen to that.  That verse is my forsythia tree.  It is my sign of Spring.

Valentine's Day Love and Craftiness

I love Valentine's Day.  I love that it makes the whole nation take stock in what you love in life.  Who you love.  I love making shirts and special things for my kids.  Last year, I made the girls matching outfits,  this year I didn't feel up to making them outfits.  So I threw together a couple of shirts for all three kids.  It's difficult to come up with something for Monkey.  He is a boy after all and almost 9.  To make him something too cute could be the death of him at school.  The girls are way easier.  Cuteness is still acceptable for a long time.

I decided to make the kids Valentine's Day pillows.  I got this great idea from this website. http://www.howdoesshe.com/why-i-love-you-pillows-tutorial
Super cute.  My pillows are a little different.  I honestly didn't want to spend a ton of time on them since I had to make 3, but I wanted them to like them.  I also did a zipper pocket, because let's face it, kids like zippers.  It makes things seem more secret like.  Here is a picture of the pillows I did.

I started with a trip to JoAnns.  I have to say, it is so much easier picking Valentines material out for girls. Someone should invent heart fabric that is more masculine!  So my Monkey got a pillow with red flannel and red gingham.  I stopped into Michaels and saw these great felt words on their Valentines clearance.  Yay!  For $1.50 I got all 3 and can I just say that they had the one red and two pink, so I think it was meant for me!  Monkey's says LOVE and the girls say XOXO.  I just stitched those on and made a pouch with a zipper and sewed it onto the pillowcase, stuffed it with the pillows and they each have their own little Valentine pillow!  I had thought about having these done by Feb. 1 so I could put a note in them everyday, but, well, next year.


Last night at 9p, I was thinking that it would be nice to have a Valentines shirt to wear.  For the kids.  I have a dresser in my craft room that has one drawer that has only t-shirts in it.  I found a white shirt for both girls and grabbed the red t-shirt for Monkey.  I have been wanting to try this reversable applique that I saw on this link here
http://darnkat.wordpress.com/reverse-applique-tutorial/
Valentines Day isn't a day that screams masculinity so I was trying to come up with a way that I could do something for my Monkey without embarrassing him.  So, I cut a piece out of an old plaid shirt and made a small heart in the bottom left corner of his shirt.  Here is the final.

It looks pink but it's really red.  

For the girls I just cut out a couple of hearts out of a fabric that has cute cupcakes on it.  I did a regular applique on theirs.  

So it is about 9:30 now and my ADD is now satisfied with the completion of their shirts.  I think I am done!  

It's morning and now I have my kids line up do display their treasures for me.  I have such great kids!  Monkey was moments from heading out the door and didn't really want to take the time to do this, but he did it anyway, for me.  Love these kids!

Happy Valentines Day!

Losing a friend and growing up...a little

It's been almost 2 weeks since I had thought about writing about our dog Dixie.  It's just a sad story.  So don't read anymore if you want to read an uplifting story.  It's not this.  Sorry!

Two weeks ago, this Wed. started off like any other crazy school day morning.  Monkey let the dogs out to do their business and then he started laughing so hard.  The baby was still asleep and I was whispering loudly to be quiet to not wake her.  He was whistling too, at least that is what I thought he was doing.  I quickly went over to him and asked, "Why are you making that noise?"  to which he responded, "It's Dixie, mom!"  I looked out the back door and saw our chocolate lab scooting on the patio and looking very concerned.  Ok, let me just add in here that even though I am a vet's kid and blood doesn't bother me, going out to find out what was wrong with our sweet girl was my husbands job.  I hate surprises.  I don't like not knowing what I am up against.  I know, fun right?  Anyway, I had my dear hubby go out to see what was wrong.  Shooing the kids away and trying to get them ready for school and dialing my dad's number was my job next.  I handed my husband the phone so he could talk to our on call vet, (thanks Dad!) and tried to distract the kids.  Very VERY difficult to do!

Speed up an hour.
 We are on our way to the vet hospital.  We live in a town that has a University Vet hosp.  This can be a huge benefit!  After a quick (45min) exam, the neurologists decided it was on of two things and by the way she was acting it was probably a fibrocartilaginous embolism.
  A what?  Simply put, a spinal stroke.  She ran out the door and it dislodged a clot that then paralyzed her from the waist down and was continuing to affect her front legs.  To confirm this they recommended we spend $1500 for an MRI and then discuss treatment from there.  We were looking at spending thousands of dollars for a dog that we rescued and to hope that it worked.  Ah Crap!  Being a grown up Sucks!




                            


 We decided after 3 days of much deliberation and crying, to let her go to doggie heaven.  There is way more to the story, but let's just say it was exhausting.  After telling the older kids, we took them to say good-bye.  


I guess, I had thought that they would respond the same way we did growing up.  Knowing it was a fact of life and you hug them, cry and say good-bye.  What I didn't expect was my sweet Peanut draping her body on her dog, crying and saying that she would stay with her dog at the hospital so she wouldn't be sad or scared.  What I didn't expect was my stoic 8 year old to be standing next to his dog and then saying, "Mom, my eyes are sweating!" "They're hot!"  What I didn't expect to see was my husband and I looking at each other with tear soaked faces.  I kept thinking, "This is a time when I want my parents and I don't want to be the one handling this."  

One week later. 


 Peanut's comment "It seems like it was a lifetime ago, mom."  At times, I forget she is gone and other times it does seem like, "a lifetime ago".  Monkey forgets to feed our other dog daily now since he doesn't have his Dixie reminding him when it's breakfast/dinner time.  Dixie could talk just like Chewbacca.  No joke.  The other dog, didn't eat for about 5 days and he was afraid to go into the backyard like he knew that something bad had happened.  The baby would run around the house with a flashlight looking for Dixie.  (she would chase lights)  Small reminders of a big void in our daily lives that she isn't coming back.  The kids will be okay.  We will be okay.  She was a good dog and yes this whole post has been about our DOG.  

Bye Dixie girl!

Snow adventures and faith building

Finally,  we have our snow!  We have been below our normal for so many months now with the lack of snow fall that I was beginning to wonder if we were every going to experience our "normal" winter.

One of my favorite things about the snow is, waking up in the morning to find a whole new world blanketed in the powdery white.  It's breathtaking.  When it's still dark and everything is covered with snow, it's easy to feel romantic about it.  Everything takes on a glow and the world is quiet.  The buses that go by our house are even quiet.  All you can hear are the muffled crunch of tires on the road.  When daylight comes so does the reality of what more you have to do to get your day going.  Shovel the sidewalk, wipe my dogs paws off, make sure that the little dog makes it off of the patio to do his business instead of stepping just outside of my reach and taking care of it on the patio, oh and because we have no garage, you can add sweeping the snow of the cars too.  The thing is, even though these are inconveniences, they are small when you consider the gift that this white stuff can be.  Like listening to my kids laughter as they come sledding down the hill, or the cold rosy cheeks of my kids as they sit around the table cupping their hot chocolate, or building snowman or snowforts.  Oh, I know many people that curse at it and grumble about it, but really, there are few magical moments in this world and I consider a good snowfall to being one of them.

I have to also clarify that I have an amazing husband that does all of the snow clearing for me so I can sit inside with my cup of coffee watching him.  I have spent my time clearing sidewalks and cursing the snow,  but for now, I have a husband that does it for me so I don't have too.

This is Baby T's second winter but really her first experience with the snow.  Last year I put her on a sled so I could get a picture of my 3 kids, which she then fell head first into the cold stuff and ended her wonderful experience.  This year, when she sees my older two get their snow pants, she runs to the bathroom to grab hers.  She points to her head and says, "hat Mama", and her feet and says, "Boots".  She knows what is required to go out into this cold and wintery world.  I love her enthusiasm.  Her excitement to go out and eat the snow.  She saw her older sibs playing and making snow forts today.  She wanted to be a part of it, until I set her in the 12" snow.  Then she looked at me and cried.  She felt stuck.  "Uppee, Mama!"  Sure, I'll pick you up.  It has to be so comforting to know that no matter what someone is always there for you.
This past winter I have been wondering what our plans are going to be.  Questioning everything.  Wondering where are the jobs that we were led to believe would be waiting for us when Jeremy graduated.  I mean, a PhD should get you something, right?  I think of my kids and then think of God.  Our kids rely on us to carry them when they can't walk or crawl.  Our kids rely on us to be their guide when they can't make sense of a situation.  God wants us to do the same with Him.
Jeremiah 29:11
For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.


Ok.  I get it.  Instead of asking questions about why is it not working out the way we had envisioned, I should be relying on God.    Well, here goes. " Uppee God!"

Being goofy with my Peanut!

Baby T showing off her smile

Helping Daddy shovel snow.  Maybe just supervising!

It's too deep! "Uppee Mama!"

Showing me the snowflakes on her eyelashes

Happy New Year!!!!

Welcome to the future! When I think about this number I feel like I should have a robot maid and a computer that makes my food.  Then I think, I'm the maid and do I really want a computer making my food?  I think that 2012 has been this number that for the longest time seemed so far away, and now it's here.  Why this year and not last or next?
2012.  20 years ago we graduated high school.  20 years.    A lot happens in 20 years.  As an 18 year old in 1992 20 years seemed like forever.  I remember the Dr. telling me to take it easier on my knees or I may have a difficult time walking when I am 40!  As a 17 year old hearing that, well, I think my comment ran along the lines of, "40!  I'll be old and won't care how my knees are doing!"  Oh naive, silly girl!  I also remember when I was in 5th grade and having a conversation with a friend about the song by Prince, 1999.  I remember trying to figure out how old I would be in that New Year.  Every year we get older, unless you happened to be vacationing on your birthday which was Dec. 30 on the island of Samoa this past year.  (They skipped Dec. 30) It is going to happen, we get old.

Every year, as I look back and have more years to compare and look back on, I can't help but feel nostalgic and optimistic.  I have been feeling lately like I am racing against a clock.  One that I don't know when it will stop but knowing it eventually will.  Maybe, it's because of the many family members and friends that have battled with cancer this past year.  Maybe it's because I am realizing now that my kids will outlive me.  If they follow the natural order of things.  Which I have told them that they must!  Whatever it is, it is making me take stock in how I live my life, how I love my family and what to be grateful for.

Need I say more?  So grateful, so Blessed.  Looking forward to see what God has in store for our 2012!

Save the Neck For Me, Clark!

I am terrible about finishing my posts.  I'm not a great writer like others in my family and I have 3 kids that tend to distract, not to mention an attention span of a gnat so I am going to post a couple of posts today because I feel like they are still good posts.  A little belated but still worth reading.

 Dec. 19
It's so strange how you can experience highs and lows so frequently in such a short time.  I guess that is what is meant to happen.  In Ecclesiates it reminds us that there is a time for everything.  A constant juxtaposition.  There cannot be one with out the other.  Life and Death, Joy and Sorrow, a time to speak and a time to be silent, a time to keep and a time to throw away, a time to weep and a time to laugh.  They are the constant.  Nothing would hold it's value without the other.  If there were only rich and no poor, then there would be nothing to strive for.  If there were only Life and no death, the celebration of Life would not hold as much value.  I feel like my family has experienced a few of these this past month.  So when the highs hit, we are celebrating, and when the lows come, we mourn.

Backing up to Thanksgiving. 
Jeremy's family was able to join us for Thanksgiving.  Hooray!  Celebration!  His sister, met her youngest niece for the first time. His mom, now cancer free, was actually able to enjoy more food and beer than she has been able to since her surgery last September.  More celebration!  Jeremy turned his dissertation in on Wed. before Thanksgiving which meant he was stress free for the time that his family was visiting! 
All of these were great celebrations!
Now in December...
Jeremy's mom came back up to watch him present his PhD. dissertation and stay for graduation.  During that time my mum and I planned a graduation party to celebrate this HUGE accomplishment.  Did I mention, HUGE!  I mean, I wouldn't be able to do it.  He managed a 3.9 through all of it and still finished his program on time, with a wife and 3 kids.  I know he didn't do it all on his own, but still.  HUGE accomplishment!  We had a great time with Jeremy's mom, my mum and dad, my brother Bobby and his wife Jenny and my niece Jordan, who all came to help us celebrate Jeremy and his PhD.
After graduation we had a party/open house.  It was so great to celebrate!  So many people that came that I was able to thank personally for all of their prayers and support these past 5 years.  Thank you, thank you!
We were feeling optimistic, joyful and full of thankfulness the week after, looking forward to Christmas and celebrating (again).  On Dec. 17, my mum sent me a text.  It was a fairly normal Saturday morning.  Lazy and full of chaos in our house.  The text basically said, "Your cousin was killed last night in a car accident."  The happy sounds of chaos in my house became a white noise and my phone became a foreign object in my hand. How do I process this?  I called my mum. The other kicker was, Saturday, Dec. 17 was his wife's birthday.  My heart broke.  I wanted to cry for his wife and 2 kids.  I wanted to cry for all that were left behind.  I wanted to cry for my cousin, Cameron. I wanted to cry for my aunt and uncle who were on a cruise and still had not heard the news.  I just wanted to cry.
The question most asked is, "Was I close to him?"  Honestly, the answer is sort of muddled and hard to give a simple yes or no to.  No, he was 8 years older and he was a boy.  In my house growing up, we were divided by our gender. My cousin, Michelle and I were paired up and all the boys were together.  My mum's family was the closet geographically to us.  My dad's family was all over the U.S.  My mum has one sibling, a sister and growing up we spent our Christmas and our Canadian Thanksgivings going up to Vancouver to spend it with my aunt, uncle, cousins and my Poppop and Nana.
Cameron was older than my oldest brother and was always doing older guy things.  I have my memories of him though.  Cameron was a funny guy.  He always wanted to be the life of the party.  The guy with the punch lines and practical jokes.  At least this is how I remember him.  The last time I saw Cam was at my younger brother's wedding in 2009.  He came down from Kamloops to come to the wedding, bringing his wife and 2 kids.  That's not a short trip.  So when you ask if we were close, the point I'm trying to make is that no, I couldn't tell you his favorite color or his favorite food.  BUT, my family is fiercely loyal.  You can call on any of us and we will be there.  He came for my wedding, he came for Bobby's wedding in Vegas and he came for my little brother's wedding, why?  Because that's what we do.  We are loyal and close in that way.  He was 45 years old with a wife and 8 year old daughter and a 3 year old son who are going to miss him so much.  His funeral is Friday Jan 6 in Kamloops

During Christmas, we often pull out our favorite holiday movies.  Jeremy's favorite movie is National Lampoons Christmas Vacation.  I'm sure you are wondering how this is segueing from the bit about Cameron.  Well, if you've never seen it, you should.  The family dynamics I think everyone can relate to on some level! Cameron was nothing like cousin Eddie,  my family may be wondering where I am going with this.  Cousin Eddie was the comical family member and the one that said the most unexpected comments like Cam would. When I watched the movie I laughed.  It is so healing and good to laugh. I've spent so many holiday dinners with our family gathered around and the comedy that is our family and it's dynamics and inputs from people at the table.  The dinner of the Griswolds on the movie feels normal to me.
So to quote a line from Cousin Eddie, "Save the neck for me Clark." You will be missed Cam.

Soccer Saturdays

Saturdays at our house means that the mornings are all about soccer!  This isn't all that different from when I was a kid.  I played soccer for more years than I can really remember.  I gave it up when I got busy working, with the hopes of being able to play later.  Well, now my knees remind me that I played and probably shouldn't take it up again.  So what is the next best thing?  Coaching my littles.  I didn't think that it would be something that I would like, but really, it is the most fun that I have had with them in a while!  Right now, I am coaching only Peanut and her team but if Monkey wants to continue with it, then I may take that up too.
I put my blogging on hold while we went to Monkey's game.  This is a kid that likes soccer but really only can give you about 20 minutes of good playing time.  He just hasn't caught the bug, and he may never get it.  But then today, something clicked.  My little Monkey made 4 goals and didn't let one ball go by him when he was playing goalie!  My heart soared!  He felt the pride and pure joy of making a goal and protecting his team from losing the lead that he helped them acquire!  I apologize for not having any pictures of Monkey playing soccer.  I have to find some.  The problem with coaching one kids games and not seeing all of the other ones. 
I don't know if he will keep playing soccer, and really I don't care what he chooses to do, but for today, I am thankful that he felt that joy that comes with the Whooping and Hollering from making a goal. 

Peanut made a goal today!  The look on her face after she did it, was priceless!  She looked over at me kind of embarrassed but with pride as if to say, "How'd ya like that?!"  She is the kid that the other teams underestimate.  She is little, but quick.  Quiet, but fearless.  She is right in there with the biggest boys trying to get the ball, and quite often she does.  The kids and parents on my team call her, their "secret weapon."  She has the makings of  a great midfielder.  We'll see.  I am just glad that she is enjoying it for now.